Divorce, of course, is not something we ever think will happen as we are saying our “I do’s” in the wedding. Fact is.. It happens. I have seen people get over it, never get over it, regret it, be glad about it, forgive, and never forgive… I am someone who grew up with divorced parents and this is what I do know….
Regardless of what happened, we can all help to create an atmosphere of peace & hope (not denial, hostility, or instability). Keep these things in mind… <3
1- Your life will still go on. I promise. Your life isn’t over. It may feel that way, but the truth is, it’s not. There are people that still love you and need you right now. Keep your head up, and keep going! You still have things to do in this life and there are talents to be used.
2- Forgive & let it go. We cannot control the actions of others and we cannot go back and undo the things we have done. What we CAN do, is focus on the future and choose how we respond to the things that have happened to us. The answer to maintaining a peaceful heart is to forgive the person who has hurt you and to forgive yourself for the things you have done too. LET IT GO. Even if that person doesn’t think that they need your forgiveness, you do it because you choose not to live in a constant state of bitterness or anger. You aren’t going to let that anger control you. Everyone around you will be miserable if you choose to hold on to the hurt that someone has cause you. This takes constant repetition and time in order for it to become easier…
3- The opinions of others DO NOT MATTER. It truly doesn’t matter what other people think about the whole situation. You can’t control that either. There’s only one Person in this world Whose opinion DOES MATTER. His name is JESUS. I don’t know your situation, but I do know Jesus. I know that He cares about what has happened to you, that He loves you, and that you should seek Him, find out what He says about you in the Bible, and talk to Him about all of your experiences in this life. He cares SO much! Your life matters to Him!
4- There is hope for you!- There is so much hope for you to still be able to have a stable and meaningful life. There is hope for your children to continue to grow up around people who love them and can mentor them. One thing that will help you to return to stability is to create a consistent routine for your children. Talk to them and allow them to know what the new plans are, when they will take place, and how.
Create fun times with your children and try new hobbies together! This puts the tough times in the backseat, and everyone is able to laugh and focus on something different for a change! Enjoy these short, yet purposeful moments with them.
5- You will find LOVE again. I’m really sorry that your marriage didn’t work out. 🙁 My parent’s didn’t either, but guess what? They eventually remarried other people, and were still able to show me that they didn’t quit those marriages and were fighters! <3 I’m an adult now, and the fact that they haven’t given those up yet, have truly helped me in my own marriage- to not give up when things get hard!
I know your marriage may not have worked out, but take it slow and wait on the Lord, before you rush into something else right now! Trust Him to bring that special person into your life that will be good for you and your family.
6- You can take the GOOD away from that experience. Truthfully, there is GOOD that you can learn from your experience. Take some time and think about this. What positive things came from that marriage? Write those down and thank God for them!
7- You will grow into a better person, gaining wisdom, if you allow yourself to!- No one can do this part, but you! Sometimes, people never learn anything from the experiences that they go through. Supposedly, it’s everyone’s fault, and they only continue repeating the same mistakes over and over! However, I watched my parents choose to GROW. This takes tremendous HUMILITY and a willingness to step back and look at yourself. Ask yourself, “What do I want to pass on to my children? What do I want to teach them about love, life, trials, and struggles? What can I do now?” This gets you looking at the future- there’s HOPE.
The topic of divorce is definitely a tough one, but we can help others find direction after the pain. We can be great examples of perseverance no matter what we are going through in this life. Having self-control and being kind to everyone involved, regardless of the chaos around us, can get us through the aftermath of a divorce. Stay focused! 🙂